Saturday, December 24, 2005

Gummy Bear of the Week: TN State Senator Jeff Miller!

I think I want to have my very own award. Atrios has the Wanker of the Day/Week, and other names I'd like to use might get a little descriptive - and I have to remember, my mama is the only one reading this thing! So I thought to myself - Cog - Monkey Wrench - Gumming up the Works - oh, yeah - Gum - Gummy - Gummy Bears!

The Gummy Bear - a chewy little gelatinous blob. What better symbol for some tireless devoted servant of public attention that manages to show off how idiotic we can get as monkeys let loose with language?

And who better for this inaugeral award than Jeff Miller, the anti-gay Tennessee State Senator? You might think, there's only one anti-gay Tennessee State Senator? You would be wrong. But Jeffie's an exception. He's got a gay brother, and he campaigns relentlessly against gay rights. He's very adamant about marriage being between one man and one woman. But it turns out he's not too picky about the one woman being the same woman.

Jeff's been having an affair. His wife filed for divorce. He decided to not contest the divorce, but showed up in town to sign the papers with the girl he was cheating on his wife with.

When the local paper exposed his hypocrisy and nerve, Jeff threatened to retaliate against its advertisers. When the local paper showed up at his public office to ask him about this threat, he sent them a letter promising to arrest them for trespassing if they ever showed up there again!!

What a gummy bear! So icky sweet while you chew.

Oh, yeah, Jeffrey. Nice beard.

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